“All of a sudden you realize that darkness was a complete illusion. All the darkness and negativity and spooky shit and guilt and fear and crap you thought was inside you, and all the bad things you thought you’ve done, and all the things you feel terrible about secretly…you realize that’s nothing. İt’s an illusion. The universe loves you, you are completely embraced by the entire universe. You are an incremental part of the functioning of the cosmos. You are an incredible, wonderful, perfect fucking thing. And when you get a glimpse of that, it’s the greatest feeling ever. Because you’re healed. Because that’s what true healing is, man. True healing is realizing you were never sick in the first place. True healing is realizing you just had a little bit of dust on the windshield man…you brush it off you know..that’s all, man.”
The Guardian:Any advice for a 21-year-old who hates their job and has the possibility of traveling the world? And has a boyfriend that they like. (This is for a friend.)
Rob Delaney:Go do it. Fuck him. Is he a guy in his 20s? Then he's the least significant type of person on the planet. A male in their 20s? Run in the opposite direction. Nothing he says matters; his fears, his hopes his dreams are garbage. Men in their 20s are the worst thing happening on our planet. Go, go to Uzbekistan, go to South Korea, just go anywhere he isn't because men in their 20s are bad for young women.
The Guardian:So what do women in their 20s do?
Rob Delaney:Masturbate. Date other women for a while. Use men sexually for a while but don't ever invite their opinion or be bound to them in any way.
“I want you and I don’t want to be a luxury. I want you to need me. I want you to not be able to concentrate because you’re thinking about me. I want you to reach for your phone because you thought of something you have to share with me. I want you to not even be able to breathe at the thought of never seeing me again, because that’s how I feel about you.”